Cryptonauts we LOVE YOU!!! miss you sooooo much!! Funny Crypto news everywhere mighty watch army, kick in the afterburners on the sleds & lets' RIDE for truth justice and LAUGHS!!!
Reading music from davebot, who lives by swapping into unused memory during gig jobs - you know this was coming
: no horns not even a sax on this cover booooo but the rain helps us hallucinate the horn section that should be there in the collective reimagination of this unending classic babyso where where we? happy freaking new year!! but the once and future king CZ. A messenger, he came, he created, he strode the world like a colossus, except ya know a nebulous endoplasmic reticulum sort of colossus. Ah ha ha like Old Dirty Bastard bragging he was free like a bird until the cops caught him in the drivethru except CZ PULLED IT OFF!!!, 
The quintessential nerd, pocket protector wearing four eyes elf lord CZ has gone on to the west, nevermore to be seen again, outside of the most rarified cocktail parties !! ar ar ar aroo000!! Ok well he has to be here by law right now, but that's ok. Seriously, the wizard hired the greatest legal crypto team that a spare billy or two could buy. Suddenly case law means something, and Sammy be in jail & CZ be free just like world b. free. Just like it's all supposed to be.
Pause for a moment, remember all the lies and agitprop about CZ ? Oh yeah, Sammy is down, CZ going down hard!! BULLLL @#($&@#($&@#(&@#$(&!!!!! The world never laid a glove on CZ's sneakers. WSJ says BINANCE melting down!! Hey, hey !! Judges say eat 4 out of 5 bagfuls ya dumb ($&#(@#&$@#( ah HA HA HA HA HA 
Member!! Binance shutting down!! Yet, look - coingecko, who hides it with a "trust" score. Don't trust coinmarketcap cuz Binance owns it? you should, same numbers as everywhere else. The dutch bros Coinranking, alla same, (#$U lets go full boring, random shot from Statista from last month. Binance ruled before, binance rules now ah HA HA HA
Oh, where were ya ? Oh yah EAT IT FT
Lord, we wish we were better writers so we could express how funny this all is. Remember the HATE we had to read? Binance will fold!! CZ going to the big house! the absolute bollocks heaped on by people insignificant compared to our boy CZ!! BOLLOCKS WE SAY BOLLOCKS
Always remember kids, take it from a quant - technical charts are horoscopes for men!! STILL we had to listen to crap like this:
what idiot wrote this at coinpedia? we are sure he is multi billion ar ar ar OK boys n girls let's go to the GECKO !!!
but hey, we will be here all week, try the borscht. So, while we are hanging with the Gecko, remember this boys in girls: BNB is worth ~50 billy in market cap, right? And CZ walks
oh man there's so much to unpack!! " this is one of the largest fines evah" blah blah BLAH blah #$(@&($&$(*& BLAH lies.
Goldman Sachs helped a dictator RAPE Mayalasia - not just let some guys trade crypto, everyone agreed, Goldman paid 6 billy plus like two years ago. Bank of Merica holds the compliance record at 30 billy in OLD money, JP Morgan with 13 billy for one infraction, D-Bank, Credit Suisse, BNP Parirbas, they all have bigger fines, CZ ain't even top five.
The truth there? it IS one of the largest fines from Treasury. It's old green eye shadow hallucinogenic mushroom swilling " we can afford two wars at the same time". Janet Yelling flexing HER buns. Hey, only WE get to print chitcoins!!! not you lil people! & the real story there? you know it we know it lord knows Arthur Hayes has had it burned into his skin like a lesser Kafka short story
But WE are HERE FOR THE FUNNIES #$(&@#($&# !! IT !! so zoom out. Binance, just like Goldman Sachs, was making about a billion a month during the time covered by the complaint. Binance, just like Goldman Sachs, ultimately doesn't give a rat's arse about operating chump change expenses like that. Let the lawyers tear up Saint Barths for a while, the girls fully earned it its ALLLLLL GOOOOOOOODDD!!!
Why? Cuz member the graph above, what was it, Binance gets 7x the serious competitor Coinbase for market share? BIG dawg we SEE you GO THROUGH! Member the big boys of compliance fines, all the regular schmucks, do any of THEM have 700% the market share of their real competitor NO AH HA HA HA HA HA LOOK LOOK
: ah HA HA HA the number two compliance fine payer is leading the pack, the biggest compliance fine payer ever is trailing Goldman by 0,4% market share AH HA HA HA HA. STFU FT STFU Jamie Dimon jealous much ah HA HA HA
oh oh stop
OK fearless Watch army riders, Davebot must return to captivity but we love ya man, hold yer head up we allll comin back catch y'all on the flip side. Got nuthin but love for the celestial Pub0x!!
Range free Watch Army !! Excelsior !!
give a lil bit by Supertram
Ooh, yeah
Here we go again
Na-na, whoa, no, da-na, hey, hey, yeah Give a little bit
Oh, give a little bit of your love to me
I'll give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my love to you
There's so much that we need to share
So send a smile and show you care
(Alright) I'll give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my life for you
So give a little bit
Oh, give a little bit of your time to me
See the man with the lonely eyes
Oh, take his hand, you'll be surprised Oh, take it
Ah, yeah
Come along
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Come a-
Long Give a little bit
Oh, give a little bit of your love to me
I'll give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my life for you
Now's the time that we need to share
So find yourself, we're on our way back home Oh, going home
Don't you need, don't you need to feel at home?
Oh, yeah, we gotta sing
Ooh, yeah, gotta get a feeling
Ooh, yeah, come along too
Woo Come a-, come along too, yeah
Come a-, come a-, come a-, come along Cha-ka-doom, yeah
Ooh, yeah, come along too
Yeah, come along too, yeah
Sing, Betty Lou
Come along too
What a long ride
Come a long way
Oh, sing it, tonight
Ooh, yeah
