The funniest crypto news May 13

Cryptonauts, we love you!! Salutations for being here once again to ride in your Watch Army, laughing our way to a better future above fiat abuses!! 

This week BTC price action hurts when we laugh!   BEN not lookin too good. THAT"S funny!!  Even SAI is kinda stinky.  

But Pepe, Pepe's  a big tease.    But dear readers remember when we said all Pepe needed was a tweet from Elon and POW ZOWIE AH HA HA HA WE GOT IT BABY : and AND PEPE MOONED all the way up to, um, up to what we paid for it.  ar ar ar.  Hmm.  Well there goes THAT theory.  

Hey but gas prices have dropped down to where we could get out for the same twenty that got us in!!  Meaning total loss = 40%. So.  ya our let's be clear we love our PEPE.  We are memestonking on Pepe like WSB.  ah ha ha ha: OUR pepe is SPECIAL.  It's an existentialist statement about red pilled man's humanity to black pilled man, man. ar ar ar  we never want to sell our PEPE its all FU money to the system man. Unless we CAN AR AR AR !! 

But maybe we can't, for a profit.  Elon sprinkled the memestonk magic tweet dust on some MILADY gif & chit coin.  

Meanwhile, even BITCOIN can't afford the gas fees ah ha ha ha TLDR: & this is why we can't have nice things!!! let us hope this fad passes !!! 

late breaking reading music !  category EARLY punk covers of pop songs LIVE baby !! TLDR:  Keep me HANGIN ON!! 

Peperidge farms remembers!! TLDR ah ha ha!! 

oh stop please!! TOO FUNNY!! 

Dear readers member how funny it was that COINBASE apologized to the frog!! TLDR: go thru big Gemini!! HOLY MOLEY we gotta tweet & open an account at Kraken!! Why, one lucky winner will take home... oh wait, that's only like 1800 bucks ah ha ha HA HA HA!!  well played Gemini!! 

ahh there are other funnies playing out.  Somehow JUMP trading nabbed an extra 1.2 billy of LUNA for, well, free, after propping up the TUSD price, and the gummint thinks they should go down for that.  And maybe they should!! 

This is a big funny!! TLDR: Kraken built a fake wallet with a fake 450,000 in it, then teased some poor indian scammer into thinking he was  THIS CLOSE to getting 450K shipped to him!! Instead, the scammer has the feds on his new wallet which was somewhere identifiable, like Kraken!!  Sophomoric, overblown, cheap, tawdry, but FUNNY AS HELL!!!! 

But we want BIG HAPPY CRYPTO FUNNIES, team!! 

Well, depending on who you ask, 12 people work at Tether, tho some say 125.  In any case, it's VERY funny. 

Cause now, those 10 ish people control 3.4 billion in gold, along with another 60 - 80 billy lying around here & there!! 

:  100 people, 3.4 billion in cold, hard gold!!  AH HA HA HA!! 

Now, nations rise and fall over the gold they hold!!!   That trend is still huge, Russia and China & others SNARFING up the gold!!

and now USDT is a TOP FIFTY NATION AH HA HA HA that's right, the mighty DUCK star & his pals now are up there with Oz!!  Just behind Denmark & Argentina!!

Ahead of the UAE!! AH HA HA HA!! Ahead of Finland, Cambodia, Bolivia!! ar ar ar arooo000000000!!!  AH HA HA HA HA!! GAME OVER !!! TLDR:  ok that's the biggest funny, we gotta hop!! 

Peace out, 

please recruit a pal for the Watch Army, your watch army needs you man!! Take care of yourselves!!

follow us we will follow you!! @davidsawyer