The funniest crypto Feb 25th

Cryptonauts, y'all KNOW we love you!! As we should you do-gooders!!! Lifting up mankind against the heavy hands of the paper hanging fiat overlords and their Cantillon positioned cronies!! 

Warmup funnies!! We already laughed yesterday at the blob Agustin saying crypto has lost the war against fiat.  Today, let's (again) laugh at the vampire Charlie  Lestat!!! It's funny, Charlie made the news TWICE this week!!  First, he told us all to shut up!!: well, he told the POOR people to shut up.  But then we are ALL poor compared to Charlie!!! He's a 100 year old  multi-billionaire.  What's the story, if your great great great grandpa put 1$ in compound savings, and no one spent it, you would be RICH?? Do YOU have 1$ stashed for your great great grandchildren?? Well Charlie did - but he kept it all for himself!!  ar ar ar !! Also this week, Chas yet AGAIN said crypto should be banned.  Now, this is funny, it's very simple.  Charlie is a king hell winner of the old fiat world.  Born in the USA even BEFORE "buy dollars, wear diamonds" was a thing!! : just think Charlie, we know YOU think even if you were born in Zimbabwe, you would STILL be a multi-billionaire due to your self claimed "long attention span." & we AGREE Charlie, even under the weight of that soul crushing fiat disaster, you WOULD still have been a multi-billionaire!!! and THAT, times 50x, would have been enough for Charlie  to buy a HALF DOZEN EGGS!!!!  AH HA HA HA HA HA you schmuck. $#(*#&#($& arsehole.  Born sliding into home base, and thinks he's a supergenius.  Chas'  grandpa was a state rep & US district court judge.  Charlie got a job at the Buffet family store, and the rest is history.  Oh wait.   Charlie applied to Harvard Law (where his DADDY went) and got rejected, cause his undergrad was NFG.   But that was all fixed by a simple phone call from a family friend, the ex DEAN of Harvard Law.  Charlie went to war OK but somehow got a commission when strings were pulled.  Even though no one like him (18 years old, no college degree) did, all so Chas could be a REMF (rear-echelon MF 2nd louie) and never see battle.  No D-day for Chas!!!  that's for little people.  Charlie, how about you STFU wouldja huh wouldja PLEASE!!!

OK bigger funnies.  Well, here's one - the war in Ukraine radically accelerated the move to crypto.  We all know El Salvador made crypto legal tender, but as of 2023,  BTC and oddly, maybe Doge, are legal tender!!  Wildly inappropriate reading music thengood god y'all!! Still a GREAT baritone sax song, & we ARE keeping score about that.    

it's funny, Bitcoin will rise because rates are low, therefore free money!! OR Bitcoin will rise because rates are HIGH, therefore inflation!!  The Charlies and the FCA's & SEC's of the world (who have ALREADY WON the current fiat reindeer games) are trying their best to stamp it out!  Stomp it down!! Playing whack a mole!!! But the have-nots of the world - Edwin when he started, El Salvador, the Ukraine, Central African Republic, soon to include Nigeria if Peter wins (realistically already true anyway)  - keep on pushing crypto UP!!!   Why, it's just like Chas's silver spoon start to life!!  But what does this remind us of??  Yeah, we had to print it one more time, it's too funny : Y'alls giant bias is showing!!! the FT's, and Charlie's fantasy world.  Here we see black ETH and a blackish BTC being held by a black hand,  emerging from a black earth, getting HAMMERED down from above by a GIANT WHITE HAND holding the GIANT HAMMER  symbolizing the established Fiat rulers!!! AH HA HA HA HA!!!  Ah, the irony of the symbolism!! Dream on, bye bye empire.... 

OK more funnies.  Well, Gary's PR rehab campaign is in FULL GEAR!! IGNORE that no SEC head before was EVER such a butt buddy with a CEO who was IN THE ACT of stealing 10,000,000,000 dollars!! Except possibly senator Jon Corzine!! Jon's unprosecuted gambling theft from innocent farmer clients of the venerable MF Global only lost three billion in todays money.  Instead, pay attention!! EVERYTHING is a security!! So it's ALL under GARY's control!!! Got it yet?? LIttle people?? ar ar ar aroooo00000OK trigger warning. A truly bad old joke.   See Gary's rictus of fear and hand gestures?? Back in the day, they called that c*ck s*ck*rs cramp!! Get it?? YEAH?? HOW OFTEN AR AR AR AR

Oh man we gotta do better than this, these are rookie funnies!!  Here's an oldie but goodie. The US gummint was supposed to be for the people, by the people, and of the people.  The founding fathers didn't understand how the gummint would mix in little people vs big important people part we reckon!!   The Fed says they ARE / WERE audited!! hmm, partially, most recently in 1994 AND 1995!!!   MORE recently, after 2008, the GAO just started to take a peek.  They then found conflicts of interest, no-bid contracts, and a STUNNING 86 TRILLION, that's 86,000,000,000,000.00 in bailout spending totally unauthorized by Congress, who of course is supposed to be the ONLY ones ABLE to authorize spending!!! 

:  what could have gone wrong??? Just LOOKIT that face!!!! the definition of a chit(coin) eating smile!!!   #$(#$*&#$(*$&!!!!   Well, that was then.  & now Janet says Merica is not pushing for an outright banning of crypto activities!!! 

Dear readers know what that means.  If they say "I am not a crook" if they say "I did not have sex with that woman" if they say " I am not a retarded hothouse flower" if they say "If you like your doctor you can keep your doctor" our gut knows the truth real quick. : Go ahead, Janet!! BAN IT ALL!! Crypto will rise anyway, just that the US will lose more power more quickly.   What's the Sun Tzu quote??

Hmm, well to stay balanced, let's take a blast at crypto as well, shall we??  Sugarfix said BTC has a marketing department with a 30MM budget.  Dunno bout that, but WHO the #$(#$&#$(*& came up with the term, "impermanent loss?? "

#($&* $#@($&* them.  LIFE is impermanent!! 

But our love for y'all cryptonauts is Here.  To. STAY BABY!!! 

Peace out, love

wait wait, it's more fun to bash the establishment!!  Here's a GIANT funny dear readers will know we love too much!! USDC just announced, thanks to their pals in gummint whack a moling BUSD, the death spiral of over regulatory happy USDC just got a dead cat bounce!! It's funny, Coinscreed got the story pitifully wrong!!  TLDR: dear readers know, when mags KNOW they are spouting lies / parroting agitprop, their hearts are just not in it, and they make loads of mistakes.  Here we have Coinscreed saying there are now 600 million worth of USDC in circulation - the real number is 42 BILLION.  AND they say USDC hit a new milestone of 25 billion.  WTF?  Anyway, the real story is USDC is nosediving since they self regulated, stealing money from anyone close to using Tornado cash ( looking at you Vitalek, you donator to the Ukraine you.)  USDC lost 12 billion since August 1.  At the same time, USDT, unrepentant, rose by 5 billion in market cap ar ar ar !! 

So, now, USDC knows the world is laughing at them.  Since T-cash was bullied out of existence,  USDT market cap went UP by three billion!! While Circle, counterintuitively to Gary, we must assume, faceplanted, going up by a lousy one billion. 

So here's Circle borrowing Gary's PR team to hit the presses!!! they gathered all their funds, had a whip round led by Gary & Bobby Diamond, & they managed to drive USDC market up !! OK!?!? by a whole 600 million !!!  In just seven days!!!  Is that good??  Well  let's compare to USDT!! 

TLDR: NO!!! wtf is Circle BRAGGING about??? Tether went up by MORE!! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! 

peace out, 

ps PLEASE refer YET ANOTHER pal!! Thanking you!! 

War, huh, yeah

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing, uhh

Say it again, y'all

War, huh (good God)

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing, listen to me, oh War, I despise

'Cause it means destruction of innocent lives

War means tears to thousands of mother's eyes

When their sons go off to fight

And lose their lives It ain't nothing but a heart-breaker

(War) Friend only to The Undertaker

Oh, war it's an enemy to all mankind

The thought of war blows my mind

War has caused unrest

Within the younger generation

Induction then destruction

Who wants to die? Oh

Oh, war, has shattered many a young man's dreams

Made him disabled, bitter and mean

Life is much too short and precious

To spend fighting wars each day

War can't give life

It can only take it away, oh

Peace, love and understanding, tell me

Is there no place for them today?

They say we must fight to keep our freedom

But Lord knows there's got to be a better way, oh

What is it good for?

Stand up and shout it (nothing)