Funniest crypto news June 9th

Cryptonauts, we love you!! Thanks for jetting in to hang with the cool kids here in your mighty Watch Army!! 

Our mission - laugh our way to a crypto positive future above fiat abuses.  

Yeaaaaa warmup funnies!!! This article is so sad, bitter, small & pathetic!!  We struggled to understand what do they even MEAN?? TDLR" then we figured out it's poor, lost, small & pathetic lil Stevie Dahila!! We are happy, it's a big step up for failed Haskell programmer ( yes, we know "successful Haskel programmer" is an oxymoron.). Lil Stevie is exploiting HIMSELF now rather than just letting the FT do it ah HA HA HA HA!! 

Stevie starts out low and goes lower.  Same old copypasta of course.  Crypto has no intrinsic value ( you would THINK ANYONE who calls themselves a programmer would have some $#(&*#$(* respect for the applied math solving historic, epic problems  in privacy.  Crypto does not provide any financial intermediary services AH HA HA you old world wannabe loser snob, tell that to everyone using crypto for remittances to support family around the GLOBE!!!!  Crypto is buffoonery and boorishness - nah, yer projecting again Stevie!! Ya huckster, we KNOW you want to say power consumption!! ahh can't read this chit. We left the FT to escape such nonsense!  Reading music then : feel the LOVE!! 

It's actually funny - Stevie says BINANCE cannot offer a market, because crypto bad.  Meanwhile Binance runs the freest fairest crypto markets there are.   Co-mingling client funds ?  99% false volumes.?  Blah blah blah, THAT stuff was all FTX, the one Gary LOVED!! NEVER sued!! Met with in person!! Cuz Sammy was the no, 2 donor in the world to the party Gary chairmanned!!   outta here!!   Because what is Binance gonna get, lil Stevie?? Well first off, COIN is gonna do all the heavy lifting ahead of Binance. And for now and the forseeable future?  Well, binance makes about a billion a year and they still have 5X volumes on anyone else so they got a LOT of TRADING commish coming to them, is THAT what you think they deserve ah HA HA HA HA ar ar ar arooo0000000!!!

OK, funnier, Well, still germane to the above,  FTX stole what 12 billion last year?  ahhh that's nothing.  Rookie numbers!! TLDR: Mostly in CHECKS, paper checks, STOLEN OUT OF THE MAIL!!!  & cashed & then your bank DOES NOT CARE!!   24 BILLY PER YEAR!!! AH HA HA HA HA!! 

More CRYPTO flavor Dave!! OK ok Vitalek wearing unicorns is always funny.  But not this time around.  Vitalek has gone to heaven & replaced by chatGPT.  His last big announcement was such a corporate pile of $#(*$& we can't even remember it ah ha haTLDR: ah ha ha!! Cat got yer tongue Vit?  Has JP morgan emptied out yer BRAIN and replaced it with a TAPE RECORDER??? ar ar ar 

But WAIT !! We can have it ALL!! Crypto flava funnies AND tradfi corruption funnies - GARY's a LEAKER!!!! ah ha ha no really WTAFTLDR: Are you investigating THIS ONE GAR!!    We all know Gary took CZ out to a big long lunch to pitch Gary working for CZ!!  AH HA HA

it all makes sense now, it's like a bad romance novel.  First Gary conquers Wall Street.  Then he teaches crypto at MIT & figures out the lay of the land.  Correctly, he sets sail for Binance to sign up and become almost as rich as CZ!! Instead CZ senses Gary's inner horror and gives a hard pass.  

So spurned lover sets out to CRUSH CZ!!  & while he's at it, do a lil insider trading ah HA HA HA HA!

Where are we now ?? Oh yeah it's EVERYBODY vs Gary!  XRP -  was kind of ignored in Gary's last attack!!   It's sad, actually, Gary is killing loads of sweet chitcoins!!  In the original great crypto winter, price action killed all the chitcoins!! This time, reghammering is taking them out!!  Robin hood caved!!  But still the army is being raised !! 

:  Lutz at BITMEX points out the obvious downside from any top level perspective....   meanwhile, back at the world ah HA HA HA HA!!! Yes, it's really happening.  Hometown favorite Circle is dumping US bonds like they are spoiled lite beer!! 

And bitcoin ?? why THAT's funny!! TLDR why is this EXTRA funny?  

cuz it's a lowball estimate ah HA HA HA 

Notably, Cathie Wood, CEO of Ark Invest, predicted that bitcoin could reach an astounding $1.48 million by 2030. As Senior Analyst Nicholas Sciberras from Collective Shift points out, this prediction is reflective of bitcoin's meteoric rise.May 26, 2023

Cryptonauts we love you!! Gotta go right NOW!! Keep the faith, ya grunts!! Take care of yourselves, you belong to your mighty watch army!! 

Peace out, 

There's a calm surrender

To the rush of day

When the heat of a rolling wind

Can be turned away

An enchanted moment

And it sees me through

It's enough for this restless warrior

Just to be with you And can you feel the love tonight?

It is where we are

It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer

That we got this far

And can you feel the love tonight

How it's laid to rest?

It's enough to make kings and vagabonds Believe the very best There's a time for everyone

If they only learn

That the twisting kaleidoscope

Moves us all in turn

There's a rhyme and reason To the wild outdoors

When the heart of this star-crossed voyager Beats in time with yours