FT crypto watch Sept 5th

Crypto people we love you, hope y'alls Monday is as good as possible!  Bloomberg was famous for not liking Sundays, couldn't wait to get back to work.  On the other hand Mikey , a random co- worker in market data long ago,  started throwing up Sunday over fear of going back to work. Be like Mikey !  unless you need a new job in which case hope y'all get one....

MONDAY all over the world, let's start changing the crypto fabric of the FT, one post at a TIME baby!!

To start, since it's Monday, the FT gets the boot in first.  There's a hole in Daddy's paper, where all the crypto goes....Right in the middle, the blank space of an insult where the crypto goes NOT.   Morningstar, a Nikkei Company, just can't be arsed to provide a quote for BTC and ETH.  As IF they just don't exist over the weekend.  Have a big fat FU Morningstar, and one for you , and one for you for not requesting any better.  Three out of five FU's for the front page ritual Monday denial of crypto's existence  FU, FU, FU respectively.   According to some rando survey we forget, one out of five rich people own some crypto.  Ignoring it won't make us go away, FT. 

AAAHrrrrgh, let's make a fresh start (cause it's Monday lol) With love, crypto in the FT print!! 

Crypto no say cryptoRevolut is getting further harrassed.  Dear readers know Revolut has been not allowed licenses given to it's UK tech bank disruptor peers, cause Revolut dared to play with crypto.  That's not funny.  Think this is more of that. 

G7 oil price cap:  The G7 have sanctioned Russia.  Now Russia sells oil to China and India, and many others, then resold at a markup to the G7.  The G7 won't allow insurance for a lot of shipped oil, which kinda makes sense as tankers are trading loads in the open sea to hide origins.  Now the G7 will allow insurance to flow if oil prices are capped.  This depends on China and India agreeing, which they don't & won't. insignificant seven at work, it's funny.  It all just drives prices up more. 

Tradfi corruption watch - Georgia's former PM already won $600 mm off Credit Suisse this year.  is going in for another $800mm now.  It's funny, Credit Suisse private banker defrauded ALL the top CS accounts, buying luxury houses, Rollies, Chanel jewelry for gifts, sports cars.  then got an early release, for unknowable reasons.  He soon  killed himself, but it always coulda been one  a them Russian assisted suicides.   So the next time the FT whines about  crypto clients losing 30K so crypto is bad, r

Ministers are probing Starling bank.  Starling was the poster boy for giving out 100% taxpayer guaranteed COVID loans.  Now experts say FIVE BILLION of those are pure fraud.  Taxpayers direct to fraud, just when will we know details. Starling loaned a billion or two, and is famous for not detecting / still allowing multiple loans to the same target.  Starling had their first ever profits after all that, isn't that

Banks are now fighting it out with buy-now pay later companies to screw the lil people.  That's funny sad. 

Readers know we love David Tailwind.  He scores another letter print, this time laughing at central bankers in Jackson hole.  First they all didn't do enough, now they will all do too much!! 

The Op Ed page is all Martin Wolf saying print money to fight Russia, plus

Rana says we are already printing and will do more. 

Crypto that SAYs crypto - another goose egg, a big fat zero in the FT print version. Since the FT won't print BTC and ETH on a Monday, even the search function comes up empty today.  The FT continues to freeze out crypto in print.  History won't look kindly at ye, FT. 

Drop and roll to online!! Here we go - the Big Read on finally crypto for real estate!! 

A good looking picture of BTC for once!!  TLDR:  Crypto haven Portugal has now enabled 100% crypto real estate transactions.  It's all good for a while - no need to get scalped moving in and out of fiat.  There's even a fun graph.  Shrimps and crabs are gaining power, humpbacks losing it: So second homes might be crypto deals.  

Ahh, here's that report we misremembered.  Knight Frank surveys 600 wealth managers for high net worth ( over 30mm) and one in five of those whales own at least some crypto.  Through their asset managers, mind you, not playtime crypto. 

Then the story just smashes off the rails into the FT's special crypto negative bizarro world. 

First the FT whines and links to an old whine by known crypto hater and backwards career player Martha Bennet, dear readers know we have little respect. 

Back to live action, BTC is volatile!! It's hard!  Not really, let the buyers and sellers agree, or not, to do crypto OR fiat prices.  STFU. 

then just humiliates once again.  Let us pray the fact checkers catch this slime before it makes dead trees.  Check this paragraph: Let's unpack this.  Yeah, BTC is down, ETH not so much, wait Binance halted bitcoin withdrawals in June!! We missed that?  BINANCE can't fund BTC requests!???!  Holy CHIT, FT!!  let's click that link: 

Wow its a story inferring that Binance stopped withdrawals not because of tech issues, cause they were out of BTC!!  They wouldn't respond to FT queries!  A story about the '" nature of crypto exchanges!!  Maybe Binance was !! clutch yer pearls!!!  Holy oh OH, wait, this story is from 2018.  June, yeah, June 2018.  

FU, FT.  FU FU FU.   Sloppy but not sloppy, just hateful. 

The trust is gone now. 

Despite that, has linked up with Sammy Fried at , deposits for condos are taken in auto hedging deposit amounts.  Note that the pre-sale pre construction  condo game is like a weird  ICO anyway, sometimes buyers flip before buying, sometimes they lose the deposit and walk. 

Florida start up is also offering FTX style crypto mortgages.

spreads further :  crypto reghammer is coming.  Links to March stories about mixers bad.  Crypto companies in the UK did not file properly, had to have extensions.   The entire industry might not survive!!  PLUS    Once again, the FT prints the lie that Tether broke it's peg on May 11th, our crypto buyer just got out in time!!

We no longer hear them.  The story about Milo and PMG is SO positive for crypto, just STFU with your FUD lies. 

If our crypto buyer had stayed in Tether, he would always have been 100% fine, even if he was in the billions of Tether, which has ALWAYS redeemed at 1:1 with the US dollar.   Tether's exchange price briefly sagged.  If our hero did not feel like going to Tether to get his 100% cash, OMG then he would have had to, wait, yes, wait  two whole days when the unbroken peg fully unsagged.  You brits should know better what a real peg breaking is like, we thought Soros taught y'all that.  

Man where is the LOVE!!  This is a wildly positive news trend for crypto, this story is the same old competing for the alky prize of best neggy FT crypto article of the week!! 

We want THREE FU's for the absolute #$(@$&#@$(*&!! lie that falling btc prices this June caused Binance to shutter in 2018.  What a conflation of hate, smears and actual lies.  We demand another FU for the $#(#$&#(*$&. bulllll SH#$(&#@$(*&!! that Tether broker the peg.  The crypto industry will outlive the newspaper industry!!  Another FU for dredging up Martha yet again!!  And one more for going so lying negative on a very positive trend for crypto - we want a perfect FIVE out of FIVE FU's for this tripe!! 

Judges deny us, we only are allowed one FU for the Binance stutter, one for Tether never breaking the peg, and only a half FU for the stank tude - after all, the article did mention Milo and PMG / FTX.  We disagree - but the FT two FU's by simply correcting the Binance link to be a story in THIS DECADE!!   Before putting this mess on dead trees, please!! 

Judges are firm though, only 2.5 FU's allowed. 

Oh well, gotta survive Mondays to live to fight again.  

Peace out,