FT crypto watch Sept 27th

Crypto lovers, we love you, we wish y'all would just stop by and hang out with us anytime.  Really,  all the time.  We miss thinking lofty futuristic thoughts with y'all here on the dreamy Publish0x, hell sometimes even practical quick fix real world hints to make every day better. 

Crypto in the FT!!  Yayyyyy what did we get?? 

Pound sterling hits an against the dollar, gilts at a 40 year low.  Sorry, but yes, it's funny. Bank of Singno credibility, says CURRENCY CRISIS!!  Bank of America sez UK asset prices look like an emerging market.FT's Tobyit's hard to overstate how poorly" it went in the markets, worst price action in 35 years.  The current account - net trade income - just hit lows only seen in WWII even if ya go back to 1772, lmao. 

It gets funnier -  was infamous for dropping an F bomb University Challenge back in 95. Today, traders around the world said the same thing.   ar ar ar.  said fiscal stimulus to fight recession does NOT run counter to the Bank of England putting up rates to fight inflation.  That's a SIDE SPLITTER, say it again Kwasi, can you keep a straight face??   Kwasi cites Sir Issac Newton, who also worked at the Royal Mint, seriously.  Kwasi blames the "City Boys"for betting against sterling.  Now THAT'S a just removed the cap on their bonuses!!!  Three weeks in and the backbenchers are calling for a vote of no confidence.  THAT's a TWENTY thousand degree hot seat y'all got there aiight!! 

The jokes keep on a coming - folks are foul with the whole skip the Office for Budget Responsibility thing.  Lord , once at  for a decade, says firing the only guy with crisis management, then  causing a crisis, brings postmodernism to a new levelWe are not totally sure what that means, but sounds like insult humor!! We can see Triumph the insult dawg saying that!! . You tell em, Triumph!! Lord Nicky sez y'all promote obscurantism and are so relativist as to be ethically crippling!!   Ah ha ha ha what? 

Labour is now claiming to be the party of sound money!! LMAO did they take the orange pill?  Nah, they just wanna tax the rich. 

Tradfi corruption watch:Brussels is saying maybe EU officials should not be able to take leaves of absences to for consultancies and law firms THE EU COMMISSION WHILE THEY STILL WORK THERE!!!  no really what WAS your first clue.  Right now, all 32,000 employees can take off for up to 12 years and still have a gig to come back to, that's hallucinatory, of COURSE you should go for it. 

More funny hacks on - Lex says a resounding foghorn of no confidence, now just a question of HOW DEEP a recession. 

Crypto that says crypto:   Orlando Bravo story makes dead trees, same pic.  We stand by our guns:  The FT turned a crypto milestone celebration into a smeary hack job on crypto.  A disservice to , who was just collateral damage in the FT's war on crypto. 

But that's IT in the print FT.  We guess they are too busy beating those 1792 bad news records. 

For the ONLINE target market , the beat goes ON!!  Kaboom !! So Sammy was NOT a lowballing low life, that was all kabuki theater by monkey lawyers getting PAID, P-A-I-D PAID. That's funny, kinda.  No real  news or other commentary.  What else is - Sammy will pay the total market value of Voyager's crypto at a soon to be disclosed date.  Estimate of 1.4 billion, Voyager has about 1.3 right now.   We reckon that the total market value of Voyager's crypto is going down every day lawyers and execs get from those bags to sit around on that stinking zombie.  At least SAMMY's price goes down with the value of the client's crypto.  Only the clients get hurt, not the execs, buyouts, nor lawyers. the lawyers. 

NEXT!!  Never trust anyone over 19 wearing a hoodie. isn't dead, he just smells that way !! Alex steps down, the machine is still running, eating clients funds on the daily to pay execs and LAWYERS.   This butthead keeps his director's money on the board instead of getting fired with cause (losing 1.2 billion)  and clawbacks. Shameful for crypto.  The new CEO is a JP Morgan ex who will milk into the ground.  Dear readers know lawyers just got the judges to give them 27 mm in stablecoins to fart around with. 

No news other, just a rehash - Celsius is paying lawyers to sit around and bullshit with them about how to relaunch Celsius as a chitcoin, rehash hate from Vermont regs and  investors. 

Not in the FT - the OLD Celsius CFO made 750K base salary plus plus plus bonuses.  We know because the execs and lawyers filed to bring him BACK for 100K a month.  Sweet grilled cheesus, how does that sound to Joe Sixpack with 40 grand rotting in the grasp of those lawyers and execs.  So the new CEO must be making a million a year plus for thrashing around on the rocks. 

NEEEEXXXXTDear readers know the was discriminating against Revolut with their reghammers, because Revolut dared to say crypto.   The FCA dished bank licenses to other disruptor UK banks, but bled Revolut dry, stringing them along.  Now, with a flourish of hate for FTX lol, Revolut gets a license.

brags about all the hoops Revolut promised to jump thru. Revolut was hurting so bad from the slow rolling from the that they had to do layoffs.  Now that Revolut is a CRYPTO company, the FT highlights layoffs, that's so funny it hurts. 

But always funniest still!! D'Oh MOCKS the cops!!What could go wrong?  D'oh wants to see his name come up on the searchable red list.  A screaming attention whore to the BONE!!! 

Just because he's not on the public facing list doesn't mean chit!! On the other hand, no-one has gone down criminally for crypto securities fraud just like his.  It's funny, D'Oh said via lawyer he had no intention of appearing for questioning.  Now he says zero effort to hide. Daily routine of walks and malls unchanged.  Yeah, if the walks are hiding in closed malls, maybe. 

The grim reapers say it's tricky, we are doing our best to get him. Experts say only a matter of time before capture and extradition by lawmen worldwide.  We say D'oh has about ten weeks left by our prediction!!   But D'Oh could be in a bunker, walking on a treadmill, he has the bucks, who knows??   it's a sitcom now!!  It's funny, D'Oh is a jerk to the end.  And beyond!!!     For something that has notice in the name it sure gives no notice, bwah ha hah hah ha. Bad bad karma, dude.  Baaaad juju. 

Whereas we got nothing but love for y'all, crypto kinfolk, and loads of it.  Your karma will be excellent cause your heart is on the side of crypto for the people.  Gotta sleep now,