FT Crypto Watch April 24

Permissionless persuaders, we love you!! Thanks for huddling up in the Pub0x game to build a better future with your own personal watch army tour of duty.  Laugh for humanity!! ar ar ar !! 

Who's got point? Into the tradfi bassetball game we goes. first beat the fiat wardrums with photos but what's funny?  Crypto NOT $#(*#$& allowed to say crypto  : as beaten London staggers around in  the CBI's inner scandals, Rishi tries  to revitalize the moribund, fading fast City. LIke Llz before him, as PM he proclaimed crypto competence would give jobs and bring a tax base. 

And while not QUITE as bad as Liz, Rishi got the full belt fed team operated "Yes Minister" ah ha ha, FU, no never response from the BoE and their dog.  And the hapless, useless, assaholic so-called Royal Mint, WTAF who couldn't just pick up some cool stuff they had lying around and mix it up with some graphics for an NFT or two AFTER SAYING THEY WOULD!!! LONDON!!!!! $#(*&#$($&(*$&  No, not if it meant helping Rishi or crypto. 

So, Rishi on the charm offensive again!! Did he include his crypto plans again?  WE WILL NEVER KNOW THE FT NEVER PRINTS THEM ANYWAY AH HA HA HA HA HA

wow fiat war drum pictures part THREE

oh wait we found a one liner!! It's neggy of course, competing in the one line dig category for the FT flat roof pub meat prize for anti-crypto narrative copypasta!! TLDR: In an article all about Apple starting a bank cuz 165 billion is in the petty cash drawer, the FT completely skips crypto.  Cuz, y'know, crypto is only the most convergent spot of finance banking and technology EVER OF COURSE IT SHOULD BE IN THIS ($&#(#*$&#(* ARTICLE sorry.   So, really.  Show of hands please who the $(#$(# thinks that COINBASE is "dupe"ing investors??  The FT is tho AH HA HA HA!!  We won't unload the belt fed team operated bessie but we gotta kick up a couple official FU's for that, even the cranky Judges agree, one for the dupe and one for the big zoom out funny of skipping crypto. 

Ah well ONLINE! Wait, a choice 

Whoa this is a big one we need reading music. TLDL: ahhh brooklyn. Dog Man X,   Wheelies and stoppies.  The thing about doing stoppies is after a while you forget how stupid and dangerous they are and that they really offend some people some times.  Still, nothing like going for a ride and ending up in a pack of nutters stunting down Flatbush Ave!!!   On the other hand if DMX is too nuts for you we could stick with punk covers of rock songs can't go wrong there

OK the FT.  Prepare for anticrypto copypasta.  Bingo cards for all!! 

TLDR: the real story, having just the options and not the spot market makes it easier for the fed to manipulate the market.  

The lawsuit from COIN against the SEC is the real story.  But first!! copypasta!! 

Price go down, Celsius 3AC FTX!  four shots!! Portraying always shady offshore Bermuda Sammy as a 'pillar of the industry" is like, stockholm syndrome for the FT.  That's a lie, US registered Coinbase and BINANCE were always the pillars, Sammy was a kickstand!! 

Double shot for the gratuitous pic of Sammy!!  Quote from John Stark, facist ex subhead of some SEC office. Shot!! Rehammering on Genesis, Kraken, Genesis and Gemini!! (they missed some but shots ! ) 

Here the FT apologizes for the SEC's control play, pretending that spot markets are more open to manipulation ah HA HA HA HAH!!  SHOT ! HIC 

Ohs noes... a quote from poor lil stevie, ex failed haskell programmer ( yes we know that's redundant) turned D list celeb bitcoin critic!! ar ar ar !! SHOTZ ! 

Grayscale spits the truth, both futures and spot markets are exposed to the same crypto market!!  Grayscale called " arbitrary, capricious, and discriminatory”. and has thrown down and gone to court against the SEC to allow spot ETFs. Praises on their obstinate little hides!!!   the FT and lawyers agree this case is huge. 

Finally, the FT has to admit the returns on crypto have been 4($*&#($*&#($& huge. AH ha ha ha claim a victory lap, the FT even correctly rounds BTC's gains UP for once, from 69.6 to 70% thank you mighty watch army!! TAKE those W's when they post UP BABY!!! Thank you FT!! note the crypto clampdown meme is a tired one, a retread from 2021 ah HA HA HAH

OK let's cancel that thank you.  Here's a graph crop job you expect from the FT, along with a blatant rub your face in it lie of omission you know THEY are laughing about ar ar ar !! TLDR:  Euler Finance got a FORTUNE of those hacked coins back, along with the apologies of the hacker!!   Here the $(#&$(*#& FT laughed when Euler posted a 1 MM reward.  Now the FT  won't even MENTION  all the crypto coming back  WHEN invoking  EULER !!   OMFG!!! Rat $(*&$#(*$&!!!   That's FUNNY !!! AH HA HA HA!! 

Then the FT closes with a quote, it's scary to hold your own keys, so get an ETF instead, says Ian at Marex.  Ya, FU Ian, Marex partnered with Coinbase back in 2021, so tell your clients to get a COIN account and skip the inefficiences!!!   Judges say 3.5 FU's out of 5 and lets GO watch army MOVE MOVE MOVE!!! 

In the last bit of agitprop to hurdle tonight platoon, the subliminals are tired and the story wanders off into a fantasy.  The medium is the message ANY EXCUSE TO SAY FTX FTX FTX again and again, groundhog day forevermore: idle fantasies, who cares if it IS a reality of restarting FTX.   Apple and GM did it, moviepass and we work not so much, who cares??

Conflating FTX with SVB's venture cap arm, which is just vicious.  Par for the course ar ar ar HA HA HA!! ah well.  Once again the medium is the message, this nothing at ALL burger exists only to print FTX FTX FTX as many times as possible!!

Ah ha ha!! 

We gotta hop people!! Thanks for your tour of the pink lady today, it's important!! 

We love you cryptonauts, be good to yourselves and yours!!  And find more recruits to your Watch Army!! 

Peace out, love

@davidsawyer