Seriously I couldn't have chosen a more apt headline for this almost half year Bitcoin summary, so wthout further ado... Here is why Bitcoin has behaved like my drunk ex-girlfriend since January 1st 2023!
Picture this: it's January 1st, 2023, and you're a proud holder of a sufficient amount of Bitcoin. You feel like the king of the world as you watch the price surge around your already cheaply purchased Satoshi, and you can practically hear your wealth multiplying in your sleep... WOAH! Just missed faceplanting the Cornflakes again...
Fast forward to May 5th, and suddenly, your once-beloved cryptocurrency is drunkenly stumbling around, with seemingly no direction or purpose... you say to yourself: "I recognise this behaviour..." Stabilisation is needed... can it happen?
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the world of Bitcoin price fluctuations between January 1st, 2023 and 5th May, 2023 – a world that behaves a lot like my ex-girlfriend after a few too many drinks.
Let me splain.
January started off with a bang, as the price of Bitcoin did it's early year bouncing around. It was like watching a firework display – beautiful, exciting, and not too dissimilar to an explosion. But also very much like my ex-girlfriend's heavily drunken booze fueled anti-sobriety antics... like those very stumbly moments, it didn't take long for things to get slightly off key and messy.
T'was as February, 2023, rolled around, Bitcoin began to stumble around like a flailing drunk. One day it would bounce back up, as if nothing had ever happened. The next day, it would crash down to the ground, writhing in agony like someone who's just taken one too many shots of tequila. It was unpredictable, to say the least... I fib... it was every time Biden or Yellen mentioned some economy stupid... See previous article lolz..
And Manic March wasn't much better. By this point, Bitcoin had been behaving like a drunk who's been cut off from supply for 10-minutes and is stumbling around, refusing to leave the bar. One day, it would soar high, full of promise and life. The next day, it would collapse in a heap, crying and lamenting its losses... as with the many masses and Crypto Banks.
April was arguably the most tragic of all. At this point, Bitcoin was like my drunk ex who had at this point hit rock bottom. She was problematic to say the least... and Bitcoin was flailing around like a beached whale, feeling sorry for itself and refusing to take any responsibility for its actions. Every time it made a slight recovery, it would immediately fall back down, returning to its former state of melancholy and despair... and my despair!
Aaaand then... we finally come to May 5th, 2023 – the day unlike my ex-girlfriend - decided to finally sober up and take control it seems. For Bitcoin, it finally looks like it started to pull itself together, like the proverbial drunk realising it's time to go home.
But what does all this mean? And what comparison or logic can be taken for those invested in Bitcoin? Well, much like dealing with a drunk ex-girlfriend, the key is to keep calm and stay grounded. Don't chase after her (or your losses), and don't try to convince yourself that things are better than they really are. Just take a moment to breathe, and wait for the storm to pass... you hide from all that malarkey and do your own thing... it's your turn to look after YOU.
It's important to remember that Bitcoin is still a relatively new to alcohol so to speak, and it's still finding its feet in the world of human desires and uses. It's like that inexperienced teen drinker who can't handle their liquor yet, and is still figuring out how to hold their alcohol... and I must mention - remember too much alcohol is bad... too much Bitcoin is never enough!
But just like that newbie drinker, Bitcoin will eventually learn how to hold its own and navigate the twists and turns of the financial world. In the meantime, we may have to deal with some messy and unpredictable behavior... at least until the U.S. Elections in 2024.
So in all this madness what can we expect from Bitcoin in the future, at least the rest of 2023? Well I guess very much like a drunk ex-girlfriend, it's hard to say. But one thing is for sure – there will be more ups and downs, and we'll ALL have to weather the storm if we want to come out on top... like the drunk ex... Drama is never far away with Bitcoin.
As for my ex-girlfriend, well, possibly that's a story for another day. But if I had to compare her to Bitcoin, I'd say they're both a little unpredictable, can be miserable, hard to figure out logically, and they both require a high tolerance for risk and uncertainty... period!
