What do we do with time.

What do we do with the time we have?

 The day is sunny but the markets are down. The red candles excite you, yet theres no way you could enter. Every minute is a different tab to read. News, opinions and valued information seems to be circulating about how you feel. Yet what would you do? as you stare into the sky with a phone on 3% because the screen light would have consumed all the power that took a night to fully charge. 

What do you do when your supposed to be patient yet you realise your anxious. The decisions you made dont bother you but the time you made them is in question. You want to jump in? With what? How was your planning for this or was it ever part of the plan. 

The world around you is literally collapsing with wars/inflation/tyrany/communism/democracy.... all concepts created for our survival or our structure? Every day passes you think of stuff to do. Sitting down or standing up shouldnt matter. Are you really doing anything? What is it that uou think is being done?

Do i contribute to something by just existing or am i just getting a high from finally being able to make my own decisions without anyone or anything telling me? Or standing in my way because im not worthy or because om not allowed? 

What a feeling! The sun shines and does the same thing every day. Occasionally pissing off the clouds and enraging them to a point where you wont be able to see the sky. But the night comes and takes care of the mischief and calms down the earth within its hold. Every day we wake up until we dont. 

What are we doing with our time? What is this thing that makes you feel like your growing while pulling you down. The concepts we created for a society breed concepts away from it. The day will end with or withiut you. another will start without your approval. But each gives us time to linger around and figure something out. Realising how alone you are.

What am i doing with my time?

I am understsnding how big what were in is? Im questioning my decisions? Or the time i take on order to make one or see the world through? When i bet on my future and see it weakening. I also see it shaking off a lot of nonesense. Most of it is mine. 

When will time rid me of it all and when will it balance out the decisions i make for the sake of a future i should be investing in, not betting on.