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On Monday, September 6th, 2021, Gary Gensler, SEC Mob Boss, MIT Professor and Wiley Coyote Genius Emeritus certified brain, filed lawsuit against famous Peanuts character Linus, for carrying around a security blanket that had gone unregistered for decades, sauces say.
Linus, who sought council from friend Charlie Brown, gave a statement that was largely unintelligible, as his thumb was in his mouth.
Gensler, however, was able to make a clear statement to the Press:
For too long, those who are either in the spotlight, or believe themselves to be above the law largely by being too young to have ever studied it, have gotten away with a gentle kid-gloves approach to regulatory rules. The law states clearly that literally every item that has ever existed or even been purchased, with the expectation of receiving some benefit or another, must be registered as a security. Whether that item is a digital token designed to assist banks with remittance or a child's preferred modus operandi towards comfort, it belongs as a security that must be registered.
Gensler leads the most recent charge against cryptocurrencies that should have been registered as securities, and many that simply look too good at market to allow the moon without legislative buddies taking a ride first, but the recent fire against newspaper toons surprised even hypocrites like Senator Warren, who, though unavailable for comment, was said by a staffer to have chuckled and stated that they can't believe they hadn't thought of it first.
The case against Peanuts favorite Linus comes at a cost to others, while unfortunately it has led to a Gensler order that seems to stop at nothing, including an order to exhume the body of Peanuts creator Charles Shulz. The scene was a sad one set to beautiful, yet melancholy light jazz on piano.
Many among Linus' background were interviewed as to his character, and in a given statement, his childhood teacher went on record to say:
Mu huah, m muh muh wah wah hawmmm.
Truer words have never been spoken as to the wide over-reach of the U.S. government or the desire to stifle creativity and intellectual rights in the name of protecting investors from great investments. In this case, a blanket that provides confidence to a gentle soul.
Update:
The case has been settled out of court with a move Charles Brown, Esq. is now famous for pulling in Denny Crane like record, offering that Linus may keep his unregistered security blanket by undergoing a public shaming from Lucy, who will trick Linus in a single play at American football, removing the game ball at the last moment, causing Linus to slip and fall. Extreme punishment? Lucy explained that it is a part of a radical new form of psychiatric treatment that shows promise. Mr. Brown spoke to this settlement for his client, that "it's ok, I dealt with this all of my years growing up, and it just made me stronger. Linus will heal, with the help of his trusty blue."
Everything here above stated is 100% true, except for all the wordy parts.
And on that note, perhaps one that you guys have missed here for a long gap in time... for now... Crypto Gordon Freeman... out.
