FT basically drops crypto coverage for the Jubilee issue - Lex monkey biz - Japan stable coin regs - bonus BTC taxes agony aunt

Cryptofans, we love everything y'all do and say, especially here at old home week at the world changing Publish0x!   Time, time time is on our side, yes it is!!!   The FT is NOT on crypto's  side though.  We just read the  last FT weekend cover to frickin cover and found a grand total of two very minor crypto mentions.  Talk about the dog that did not bark - OK the Queenie is THE priority, but will ignoring crypto make it go away FT???

Ahh. we still love that salmon coloured rag - "Citizen of Nowhere" is on point, they gave Wilco's new album 4 stars, Brin's building a dirigible, more importantly ESG investing is turning out to be greenwashing, and the chess problem was a stunning (anonymous!?!)  classic.   But on crypto?  Slim pickings...

1) Lex managed to include one brief entitled " NFTs/Asia - monkey business."  Little spinning digs much Lex?  even tho it's very short, TL;DR hell to the yes-   Lex manages to name check Snoop Dogg, Madonna,  then blasts out the immortal phrase, " Critics see steep NFT prices as evidence of human gullibility at a time when money is cheap."  Ya, quit holding back, Lex baby, tell us how ya really feel. 

Lex makes the point that this Singapore injunction is the first in the world,  proving that NFT's / digital assets are legal property.  To him, this is good news for the heavily digital asset invested DBS financial group ( apes out the ass ? ) and SGX, the singapore exchange, which badly needs the volume. 

We could NOT figure out WTF the real story was from Lex's article - and we defy anyone else to either!!!  Lex's stringers had this story munged up by the time the boss spit it back out!!! Gizmodo had the real story, - dude bought a bored ape, got a spanking big loan against it, could not pay back on time.  His loan agreement included a right to  an automatic extension.  The custodian ignored that part, and put Magilla Gorilla  on sale on OpenSea.  OPENSEA suspended the sale due to Singapore legal action. OK Fine.   Lex applying OpenSea's decision to SGX's future is a big stretch for us, but TBF we are not a fintech lawyer tho we have played one in real life.   Lex's headline & NFT quote are just insulting, but his begrudging close does the blase, ennui-filled simians went from $190 in 2021 to  still a minimum of $200K today.

The ONLY other crypto news in the Weekend? 

2)  Japan passes stablecoin law  - claiming to "protect" investors. What's the story?  Post the Terra lunacy, Japan rushed forward & passed proposals forcing stablecoins to legally be linked & pegged to the yen in 2023.  Amazingly, what a coincidence-- Mitsubishi published their plans for the Progmat stablecoin right before this bill passed.    

What's the real story?  Analysts say all foreign stablecoin players just got locked out of the market. What's the real tar & feather, between the lines FT special crypto smear job?  Conflating all stablecoins with TerraUSD at the end, hey we see how they did that!!  "Stablecoins were meant to offer contrast to volatile bitcoin. "   Yes, and they do, too.  As will the (extra GD late to market / expensive locals only protectionist)  Mitsu , ya pinheads.  

Our response to Leo and Kana in Tokyo?  Wall street cliche #47 - "Just put your head in my lap."  The usual FT dog that did NOT bark?  Actual stablecoins, not 20% infinite return algo Ponzi schemes, are working just fine as they always have. If Tether blowing out ten billion dollars cold hard cash in unceasing, without fail one to one redemption  doesn't  that, we give up on journalists. Maybe mention the diff between fully backed ( and fully harassed by NY state attorneys) Tether and flaky get rich quick cult o' personality algo pretend stables!!??!!  No, that's  WAAAY too much to ask from the FT. 

And that's it - the whole Jubilee edition, and for that matter (after scouring)  today's skinny weekday ish,  is a crypto dawg not barking.  Which leaves us without a topic for a blatant rant.   So let's go all the way back to last week to get our ya-ya's out - where we have this awesome agony aunt guest columnist LIsa, a tax lawyer.  The title: "Can the HMRC ( the UK IRS) trace my bitcoin holdings?  The dear reader has been assured "bitcoin can't be traced."  Lisa gives a non-answer - says it's a hot topic.  The real story she does give?  1) HMRC has sent out thousands of "nudge letters" urging subjects to cough up crypto earning taxes.  2) In fact, the HMRC has every right to get info on UK citizens from exchanges with UK clients, and 3) Often when people settle up their taxes, they have to submit a financial statement detailing all holdings. & that's how they getcha-  not coming clean opens the door to be hammered for actual fraud later. 

The dog that did not bark?  Jesus LIsa, spit the truth, this is your big chance. Hell yes Bitcoin can be traced,a smart preteen with a browser can track every movement of nearly any bitcoin for all time like it has a homing beacon attached.  It's OK to say that, it would be educational, it's OPEN LEDGER TECHNOLOGY.   The correct answer to the readers is "it depends, but in 99% of the cases, do NOT FAFO."   Now maybe the reader is a coin blender enthusiast - in which case the IRS / HMRC might well target him or her anyway.  Or yeah, maybe the reader is a VPN / TOR freak running a 15 year old home brew Linux box, where he or she has mined Monero in secret for years, and then finally bought some BTC on a DEX to keep in a paper wallet, in which case ya they probably could not be traced UP UNTIL THEY TRY TO ACTUALLY TURN IT INTO CASH when the KYC/AML STILL kicks IN baby!!! 

Why does this bug us so much? Look back n run pattern detection on the FT's playbook - whaddya see??  First, do NOT educate about crypto, not even a tiny bit, NOT even when publishing a question that DIRECTLY and politely ASKS!!!!   Really, WTF#$(&#($&#!($&*!!!???  Secondly, laugh and sneer at the uneducated about crypto.  Third,  work into a frothy lather of non-information, do not EVEN rinse,  &  repeat to keep the little people's brains in a funk.   

Furthermore, um we don't really want to mention this, we hate to be petty.  Ahh ok we freaking LOVE to be petty whilst the FT is urinating on us all from such a very great height!!!  The fourth line of Lisa's reply has an undeniable grammar error,  along with a questionably meandering sentence structure.  C'mon FT team, ya went for the flash Bitcoin clickbait headline, stand behind it, don't make it easy for us to laugh at y'all for laughing at us!! 

Peace, love & better proofreading for more credible agitprop,