Crypto News from our financial reporting overlords at the FT - Mo's need for sound money, a lame Celsius update and a POSITIVE A

People who love cryto - we love you!  Our heart throbs when we think of you, we pray for y'alls happiness !! Y'alls comments are like rain for the parched farmlands of our soul...  In truth, it's a blessing to live in quiet times, but since that ain't gonna happen in the great fiat wars, at least y'all are just the people we want to be with in the trenches, rather the cyber foxholes of the BRAVE new world of the indomitable Publish0x, yay!!! 

Exclusive to the 0x, join us as we scour for laughs in the dispatches of the would-be harbringer of crypto doom, the 100% establishmentarian Financial Times!  We are still hoping to get through a day without getting p-ssed off by the FT's bias, blatant and subtle.  Maybe today's our lucky day, cause like y'all and crypto, we're just gonna keep coming, and the world loves a trier!!!

Reading the "light salmon pink" paper today (which was first colored like that in 1893 as a "twofer" - cost savings from unbleached paper disguised as a marketing ploy - gotta love capitalism) - what's up?   Dear readers know we see dead storiesOMFG we have printed WAAAY the eff too much money" articles.  One today is by Mohamed El-Erian, who we like.  Mo, tell us how bad we need crypto without saying fiat, crypto, sound money, nor Cantillion positioned power-mad kleptocrats,  OK? Yep.  Mo states we are "awakening" to "no hiding from the difficulties" from "huge liquidity injections" (read: fiat printing.)  Mo highlights how Jay Powell about transitory inflation, then that a 0.75% interest hike was "not being actively considered" days before he pulled one.  Wow, echoes of Mashinsky much? Now, the fed is lying about the economic forecasts.  Mo says he told us six years ago in his book if the elites did not give up smoking the crackof "excessive and protracted central bank intervention(s)," they would kill growth, inequality & turmoil, and crush the "most vulnerable. "  And yet here we are. A tragedy for those who feel, but comedy for those who think.  

Anyway, on with the show!  What's news?? A Celsius update!! Well sort of. Celsius stalls, says this will "take time." Rehash filler - numbers go down, sales and credit crunches in crypto. Celsius blogged about their "open dialogue with regulators and officials," while announcing going radio silent on Twatter and Reddit, which was their ONLY customer contact. Rehash TerraUSD fail, take a kick at Tether, and then munge up a rehash of Luna.  Rehash Babel and Three Arrows lockup.  Actual news (to us) at the end - Hong Kong crypto exchange Hoo ( Who?  Hoo.  We said HOO!!orry, couldn't resist, but we don't know them either) locked withdrawals but claims they will return. 

What's the First off, the FT is not so secretly praying for more crypto fire sales and bigger cascading credit crunches.  But TBF wall street research chestnut 74.5 - of course ya kick someone while they are down, it's much easier - & safer!!! than kicking them when they are up ar ar ar.   Actually very bad news that Celsius is talking only to regulators and officials, tho dear readers know we thought the Reddit posts just s-cked.  What does Celcius need time for, other than to wing out a desperate Hail Mary that whatever shaky hidden investments left come flying back up.  Won't happen, City chestnut #99, once the shark's smell blood it's ALL over now, baby blue.   Hoo (who? sorry, we'll stop now) is/was a C rated exchange in Hong Kong, holding down about 95th place in Coinmarketcap's ratings.  Dear readers know we don't think many will cry for Hoo, good riddance to (proven) bad rubbish.  We are willing to bet the FT never once printed Hoo's name before, but hey they are newsworthy (not.)

Overall, on the surface, not up to the usual FT blatant crypto smear job.  Guess they didn't have to put in the effort as the FT felt the news was bad enough.  But WAIT!!!  THERE'S MORE!!!! parse these paragraphs please! They read to us like this. 1) re-re-rehash the (spectacular) death of not too stable coin TerraUSD.   2. Re-re-rehash the bash on Tether, with once again a) don't even MENTION the difference between algo stablecoins and fully backed stablecoins,repeat the lie that Tether "wobbled" its peg despite Tether blowing ELEVEN FIGURES out the door, over TEN BILLION in cold hard USD cash without blinking.  But TBF that's a rehash of our counterbash.. same ol same ol, but this, THIS closely check this one out, prove us wrong!!!  3) Whatever -ss clown Hudson was writing this cr-p, along with his non-functioning and/or ignorant editor(s), WAS SO D-MN EAGER to get the boot in on crypto that they reveal that they are parrots without a clue,don't even KNOW WHAT THEY ARE SAYING!!!   After lying about Tether & rubbing salt on Terra USD in the very previous paragraph, they go too far, and rave on making up about the instability spreading to yet "another stablecoin" associated with Luna,  Oh yeah ?  Pray tell, what is this imaginary ghost critical extra stablecoin associated with Luna you #&@^%#@&^#%!!!! lying sacks of @(#*&@!!  beat on TerraUSD, (Tether,) LUNA!!  Trust us, if another "key" stablecoin, associated with Luna or not, went unstable, someone with two BRAIN CELLS TO RUB TOGETHER would have let the FT buy them drinks to splain it to the FT like a five year old.  the FT would fixate on printing the name of THAT (non-existent) stablecoin over and over and over and over.OK now we question the whole mess.  Why did Hudson get tagged with the dateline in Hong Kong for this steaming pile of article anyway, Celsius is based in London, ya mean Hoo is supposed to be the main story here?!?!?  

OK, last article - yes, we made it, hallelujah!! we think (really!) the FT printed a salient, neutral article about blockchain!  YAY, hope for humanity!!!  What's the story? - Mariana in Paris sez NFT's are already great fun for art, digital gaming, luxury goods and metaverse objects with their groovy immutable, secure proof of ownership and provenance.  But yeehaw, NFTs could be used to disintermediate the red tape legal/admin service industry in any sector held hostage to ridiculously high transaction costs, e.g.  real estate.  Experiments have started.  Peruvian economist Hernando says NFTs could cost effectively give property rights to the poor, unlocking 10 trillion in formerly "dead capital!"  Crowdsourcing joint ownership based on NFTs could save world heritage spots, national art treasures and biodiversity zones.  Blah blah it's complicated, challenges remain. Hey, it's right next to another article crying out for sound money ( but not mentioning Bitcoin!!)

What's the story?  That's about it, a positive blockchain article right there on the next to last page!! HOORAY!! Ok, dear readers know we can always whinge a little.  E.g. it's just an NFT article, not a crypto article.  The headline throws shade on the whole story. We have moved beyond "experiments" in ownership rights, properties have ALREADY been sold as NFTs (as we learned right chere on the mighty mighty Publish0x!!)Letting hedge funds in NYC scoop up NFT ownerships for the pueblos jovenes in Lima actually sounds nightmarish to us, plz leave that capital "dead"/ in the hands of the gente pobre Hernando baby.  Marina lists big challenges as including reliability and security of blockchains (spare us BS) and thinks the "big environmental footprint" of NFTs is a problem (oh, more BS, compare both of those to the current system of lawyers driving mercedes around and dead trees kept in county recorder's offices - or just STFU and wait for ETH 2.0 PoS. ) But all in all - cue celestial music - yes, it's a positive blockchain article in the FT, Virginia!!

Happy summer solstice people, have a brave new distributed life

Love, Dave