The first thing you need to know about the Super Bowl LVIII is the main star this year was Taylor Swift, who is of course famous for being NOT a sports star or an athlete.
But, just a few months ahead of the Super Bowl, rumours that Taylor Swift was dating Travis Kelce began to emerge.
The rumours were true and Travis Kelce, Kansas City Chiefs' tight end you wouldn't have otherwise have heard of unless you're into football, became the second, or perhaps third (we'll get to that in a second) star of the show.
Taylor Swift, for those who don't know, in case they've been living under a rock, is one of those global pop star icons that tops the charts and sells out arenas, even though everybody you know swears they've never listened to one of her songs.
Kinda like Justin Bieber in 2015 and Ed Sheeran in 2018. But I digress.
Swift is also one of the few singers who are billionaires, a list that's growing, but it's still pretty slim.
And she also makes headlines quite regularly because she apparently uses her private jet whenever she needs to travel from A to B. And it doesn't matter whether A and B are different cities, or different rooms in her mansion.
Still, despite the Taylor Swift association, it seems that Patrick Mahomes still grabbed the spotlight from his teammate Kelce.
This is probably because sports pundits and viewers occasionally remember this is in theory a sport, and Mahomes was voted MVP.
Of course, Mahomes is a quarterback which, because we've all watched MTV shows in our teenage years starring jocks and blondies, is arguably the only football role that even non-football people know.
Mahomes, by the way, is of course a Ferrari guy.
This leads us to the second thing you need to know about the Super Bowl, which is the fact that it has very little to do with sport.
Everyone knows about the Super Bowl ads and commercials, but what you don't know is the scale of it all.
The Super Bowl is essentially a four-hour commercial, with a bit of football played during the breaks.
This is because the Super Bowl is arguably the most valuable sports event of the year, and the sort of event where celebrities - usually actors, but not always - who can easily command a seven-figure fee for 30 seconds of work love to appear.
This year's average was $7 million for a 30-second commercial, most of which goes to the main star of the ad.
And this leads us on, finally, to the third thing you need to know, the absence of big car brands, with exceptions.
Historically, with the exception of 2022 when there was a lot of crypto stuff, the Super Bowl has always been the platform for car brands to showcase their new product.
This year? Not so much. In fact there was only one car commercial of note, starring BMW and Christopher Walken.
In fact, there was only one car ad of relevance, starring the BMW i5 and Christopher Walken.
The synopsis is quite brilliant.
Christopher Walken is known for his distinctive voice and his iconic delivery, and that's what the ad is all about.
As Walken goes about his day, at the wheel of a BMW i5, everyone he meets, from the cashier at the drive-thru to the waiter at the restaurant, tries to mimic his voice and do an impression of him.
Of course, the whole point is, 'accepts no imitations', as in there's only one Christopher Walken, and only one BMW.
But of course.
