Shitistics (sh?t?t?st?ks) n. — a derivative of the mathematical discipline of statistics that is meant to cover up the fact that a project or protocol is a fucking ponzi scheme. Used mostly to create whitepapers of an acceptable length to fool stupid investors.
Crapulus (?kr?pj?l?s) n. — a derivative of the mathematical discipline of calculus with the same function as shitistics.
All success in crypto relies on adoption. That's it. There is no math that will get around this. So when you see these idiotic projects and protocols with math that you don't understand, realize that it's probably just a cover up. I've made the mistake of getting into so many of these projects. Thankfully, I haven't lost money in most of them — just time. If you realize all of these shitty little experiments are ponzis, you can still make money without waiting on the magic math to moon.
News flash. There is no magic math that will just defeat the gravity of pure adoption and moon. The most that shitistics and crapulus do is fool enough people into thinking that a project is actually sustainable for a couple of pump and dump rounds. They are NEVER sustainable past dump 2, and they all have the same chart — pump, dump, death. Here's how you play them.
You have to get in early, like in the first few hours of the first day. Don't worry about checking locked liquidity on Unicrypt or any bullshit like that. You won't be around long enough for the shit dev to pull your rug. Buy in. You need to scale up enough that fees become negligible if you're on Ethereum (and we know you are). Once the pump allows you to cover fees and take back your initial investment and the fees, DO IT. Don't wait on the moon. If the project moons, take the rest of your money and don't look back. Don't ever come back to the project to reinvest. You'll regret it.
If the project tanks, hide the fucking token in your METAMASK and never look at it again. Consider yourself lucky because you got your initial investment back. At some point in the future, like some Tuesday at 2:14 pm, fees on Ethereum may be low enough that you can trade the rest of your tokens back to ETH and make a couple of bucks. Do it immediately. Don't wait, because fees will go back up soon. If you don't remember to do this, don't worry about it. The shit's not really worth it anyway.
Be warned. You should only attempt this shit if you have at least 5 ETH to throw away. Anything less is bullshit, and fees will eat up any chance you have at a profit.
Examples of projects using shitistics and crapulus: Reflect.finance, Empty Set Dollar and all its forks, Ethanol.finance
