Nintendo announces an OLED Switch and now I’m swimming in pee

A “pro” version of the Nintendo Switch has been rumored forever — and now it’s…  kinda here? But also not? Anyway! Say hello to Nintendo’s OLED Switch. Or the Nintendo Switch (OLED model) if you prefer dumb names.

That’s right you beautiful people, a new Nintendo Switch will be hitting the shelves on October 8. It will come with a 7-inch OLED screen (YES!) and has a recommended retail price of $350 (OKAY!).

Nintendo also released a video alongside the announcement of the OLED Switch, and you can watch it right here:

Yes, the song choice may be appalling and, if I was drinking water at the time, I would’ve spat it out here:

But you know what? I’m so excited I’m currently sitting here in a little puddle of pee. I love the Nintendo Switch, and I can’t wait to get my grubby little mitts on this OLED model.

Let’s talk about some new shit though.

New shit: OLED Switch style

As you can see above (and below), one of the new elements in the OLED Switch is a ~ w i d e ~ adjustable stand. This will be a godsend for anyone who has struggled with the filmsy thing on the old Switch. In other words, everyone. Forever.

On top of this, the OLED Switch will come with a dock with a wired LAN port (great for online gaming) and 64GB of internal storage (not so great for gaming).

The other exciting update is the color: damn, that white/grey looks slick as fuck. You can also get the OLED Switch in the neon red and blue as previous editions, but… why? Have you seen the video? How badass the new color looks?

Is the OLED Switch everything I could’ve wanted? Hmm, probably not. It’s a shame there’s no 4K support. In fact, it’s downright confusing there’s no 4K support. The OLED screen will deliver crisper visuals, but the resolution remains the same as the old Nintendo Switch. Both in handheld and TV mode.

It also appears that the OLED Switch has the same battery life as the original version. Which is… confusing?

Really, this isn’t a Pro Switch at all, it’s simply the previous Switch in a new color with a fancy screen. But you know what? I still love it.

Now excuse me, I need to go and do something about this puddle of urine I’m currently paddling in.