We love you cryptokinfolk!! We thank you mighty Watch Army for riding into the valley of tradfi darkness on another Overton window raid to separate money and state!!!
Wow it's a tough slog returning from the giddy whirl of a conference to harsh reality in tradfi land!! well not really we got pretty pics like always
TLDR: but alas We got yer tradfi fiat war machine cheerleading 
TLDR: look, it's 16 year olds and old men shooting British ammo !! LIsten boys it's some of OURS ar ar ar !!
But the really tragicomic stuff are ye ready FTX FTX FTX ah man it's the battle of Sammygrad let it GO!!! 
: the flying monkey lawyers on FTX figured out that Sammy bought some cheezy brokerage software house with busted software and earnings of 25K per year. Then Sammy paid 220 million!! a stunning 8,800x on earnings ar ar ar ar0000!!
The REAL story; here we see the FT smear 9Yards over a lousy 46K. Most importantly, FTX is mentioned SEVEN TIMES plus Almeda a bunch ar ar ar!!
heres the boring recapish cryptoishfinancially not so newsyletter
TLDR: an absolute hack job on crypto. First we see the FT REVEL in the idea that crypto could be reghammered as gambling. pages filled with doomy quotes. Even while the administration is trying to promote London to compete as a global crypto hub, the yes minister state and the deep press are hamstringing it!!
Pressing the attack, the FT thinks unlike real gambling, crypto winnings will be taxed ah ha ha ha! It's just a report BUT THE FUTURE GUMMINTS COULD BE WORSE!! to the FT crypto's selling points have failed, blah blah can't read this anymore soreee. Five out of five FU's we don't care about the judges.
Reading music instead then we need something cheery as $(#*&#( then punk love power pop baby ahh that's better!! If you could be my Punk Rock Princess
I would be your Garage Band King
You could tell me why you just don't fit in
And how you're gonna be something
If I could be your first real heartache
I would do it all over again
Moving on ! or not, groundhog day. Here the head of the group or reghammerers has an opinion. Shocker!! He wants MOAR !! ah ha ha the REAL story - yet another excuse to say, three guesses YES !!! FTX! WITH a bonus link off to an FTX story!!
Bonus funnies - Moloney blathers on about how everyone will agree to reghammer together. Given, for example, Ireland's 12.5% corporate tax rate, this is obvious hilarious nonsense and he KNOWs it!
: ok you schmo, these days we have this thingie called the interweb. Biggest spot & deriv crtpto exchanges? BINANCE & Deribit. Next ? OKx, Bybit. Well, Binance is nowhere, Derebit is in Panama City, OKx is in the Seychelles, and all the rest don't even matter by percentage. So, member jurisdictions cover about 10% of the market ah HA HA HA HA!!! Plus COIN and Kraken are getting ready to flee so
STFU what are you BABBLING ABOUT FT!! Martin!! What he really said was "we don't have compliance NOW!! & of COURSE WE NEVER WILL !!!" ah HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! quit lying judges will agree 3 out of 5 FUs !!
Moving on we have inside baseball on ETFs.
: ETFs kinda destroy some of the qualities of e.g. BTC as they do not invest in the underlying asset. so the FT LOVES them!!
BITO, the bitcoin ETF had the best launch of any etf ever, so the FT has to slather agitprop copypasta on THAT!! & the FT never mentions the worst performing ETF of all time was a hideously timed ETF short BTC fund ah ha ha ha ha!!!
We get in a nasty agitprop quote from Gary saying "wild wild west."
the REAL story: it's a sidesplitter how Gary pretends the derivs market is not open to manipulation but NON MERICAN unregulated exchanges ARE ok to drive derivs prices. 
But the bigger funny is well hidden in the last half of the story; Grayscale is suing the SEC over not allowing a spot market.
The BIGGEST funny is hinted at but not described in this story - bad editing??? Grayscale is filing to launch a BTC ETF that depends on BTC pricing from regulated - but foreign - markets. AH HA HA HA HA that is STILL SO SO VERY funny. Split that hair Gary!! The courts are going to get you closer & closer to chit or get off the pot!!!
Moving on oh here's a semi story 
TLDR: Liz wanted the City to be a crypto wonderland!! so they threw her under the bus. Rishi got the Royal Mint to agree to do an NFT !! Then they went back on their word. So, Treasury issues an overdue report on crypto: & the answer is smear it as gambilng, throw crypto under the bus!!!
To the FT, this sad, sad news leads to an excuse to say... wait for it.... yes aw yer so smart!!! FTX!!!!!!!!!!
Whatever, FT.
Finally, here's the pincher movement from COIN. Clearly ya could wait forever, the SEC will NEVER help you in ANY WAY if you are into crypto, approval will NOT come, it's funny, now it's flying lawyers in court time!! 
TLDR: ah ha HA HA HA HA!! this whole filing is a shaggy dog joke ar ar ar ar0000000!! If the SEC meant what they said, this filing would whip thru!! Logically it's a checkmate!The REAL story: logic never slows Gary down tho. Pass the popcorn tho ar ar ar !! 
OK speed riders, we are fully scouted on the Pravda ramblings!! Your wingman thanks you!!! We return together to the joys of crypto humor outside the swamp of tradfi!!
Peace out,
please refer a pal ! Your mighty watch army thanks you!! Excelsior!!
@davidsawyer follow us we will follow you!!
