Crypto Bros Can’t Afford Rolexes Anymore

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Today’s Agenda

• Crypto’s crash is making watches cheaper
• Gas prices aren’t as important these days.
• ECB can’t even see the curve anymore.
• Climate disclosure is good for companies.

Watch Out

Everything is terrible, but at least the crypto crash is refilling our nation’s Strategic Schadenfreude Reserve. Nouveau riche who have spent years telling us to “have fun staying poor” are now apparently returning, Lambo dreams in tatters, to the job market

This is good news for people worried about tight labor supply fueling inflation. It’s also a boon for people shopping for ludicrously expensive watches, admittedly a much smaller demographic. I thought I was indulging when I bought myself an Apple Watch, but that thing is a Casio in a spinny rack at Sears (ask your parents) compared to your typical Rolex or Audemars Piguet.

But anyway, luxury watch prices have recently fallen from “mortal soul” levels to more reasonable “firstborn child” levels, Andrea Felsted writes, thanks to crypto bros being carried out on their shields. Now’s your chance to buy a Patek Philippe Nautilus for just — hahaha this can’t be right — $192,800? That’s almost as much as I paid for a JPG of a cartoon ape!

With the stock market woozy and a recession supposedly looming, you might want to hold out for even lower prices — or for your cartoon apes to recoup their losses, whichever comes first. 

Wealthy people who chose to make their money the old-fashioned way, in stocks, have it a little bit better. Alexis Leondis points out that if you have a big portfolio and need to raise a ton of cash to buy a house, you can always borrow against your holdings. Rates for such shenanigans are far lower than the typical mortgage rate right now. Just don’t go, uh, ape. 

Gas Lighting

Because gasoline prices are displayed in massive signs all around us, they are America’s most obvious bellwethers of inflation and, apparently, our national mood. It doesn’t help that TV news crews are drawn to them like bottle flies to a landfill. But Robert Burgess is here to tell you gas prices get too much attention. Yes, fuel is a big expense for many low- and middle-income people who must drive to earn a living. But as a percentage of our overall expenses, gasoline is nowhere near as meaningful as it was, say, 10 years ago:

Plus, consumers have more stimulus checks, wage hikes and savings to help them weather the storm this time around, Bob notes. No wonder that, based on my rigorous scientific study of the traffic in suburban New Jersey, there are still too many dang people on the road. 

Telltale Charts

You hear a lot about how the Fed fell behind the curve on inflation, but the ECB doesn’t seem to be aware a curve even exists. Euro-zone inflation just hit a record high of 8.6%, thanks to President Joe Biden’s stimulus the Ukraine war, and the ECB is twiddling its thumbs, notes Marcus Ashworth. Is it too much to ask to at least make interest rates not negative anymore? 

Further Reading

Companies may grouse at new SEC climate-disclosure rules, but they’ll help them and investors in the long run. — Bloomberg’s editorial board 

Biden is catering too much to extremists and not trying to find a realistic compromise on abortion rights. — Matt Yglesias 

India can’t make its army leaner because it’s the only source of jobs for so many young men. — Mihir Sharma 

Erdogan won very little for making himself a nuisance again to NATOBobby Ghosh 

You’ll likely get reinfected with Covid, but there’s hope in new vaccines and the slow accretion of immunity. — Therese Raphael Sam Fazeli 

Thinking like a freelancer can help you prepare for a recessionErin Lowry 

Europe is a terrible place to travel right now.

In fact, better just avoid all airports

Home sellers are suddenly cutting prices

The new dump of (very longStranger Things” episodes broke Netflix

Kickers

Delta offered passengers $10,000 to get off a flight. (h/t Scott Kominers

Bobby Bonilla Day to all who observe.

Area dog walker finds massive jellyfish

What’s with all the weird wrong-number texts

Notes: Please send $1,193,248.20 per year and complaints to Mark Gongloff at [email protected].

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Mark Gongloff[email protected]

To contact the editor responsible for this story:

Brooke Sample[email protected]