Bitcoin Is Your Spouse Bitcoin Spot ETFs Are Your Sidepieces

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When a man acquires wealth he becomes amoral.

When a woman becomes amoral she becomes wealthy

-Toxic but wise man (probably)

Sign of the times, the pronoun police will probably come after me for sharing this quote, but we have bigger things to worry about.

Don’t get it twisted frens.

Bitcoin is like the love of your life after all that is why you got married in the first place.

Sometimes your eyes wonder, lust and stupidity makes you do stupid things. Maybe it’s her sister, maybe it’s her best friend.

They might you of your wife but they are not your wife.

In previous cycles you had the “vision”, the “cash” version, and “wrapped” versions.

Then TradFi tried to fool us with “futures” and “futures” ETFs.

It’s kind of like getting drunk at a bar and waking up next to your “lady” friend. Then you have an awkward conversation about the differences between preop and postop.

The walk of shame gets longer!

But ol’ Panda doesn’t care about your extramarital activities. He just wants you to make informed gambling decisions.

This cycle is very interesting TradFi cooked up something devilish.

At first I thought the Bitcoin spot ETFs were a good thing.

But after some thought…

They feel like renting your own wife from your wife’s boyfriend.

These spot ETFs feel like a messy open relationship.

Sure I guess you are free to mess around but in your heart something feels off.

While your plowing Cathy’s $ARKB, maybe your precious Bitcoin might be snuggling with Big Daddy Larry.

It’s almost like this was orchestrated.

Supposedly these Bitcoin ETFs have your satoshis stashed in away in a cold wallet custody solution (mostly Coinbase), but it’s not YOUR custody solution.

It’s like trusting your wife’s boyfriend to unlock the front door for you after you handle your indiscretions.

So many Bitcoin spot ETFs to fool around with, but when you’re done speculating remember…


I remember my follies from prior crypto winters. I LENT OUT my Bitcoin AND kept some crypto on exchanges.

The only smart thing I did why spread my digital loot around and kept a nice chunk on self custody solutions.


This cycle I plan to be much for focused.

If you want to dabble in memes and doo doo coins be my guest. Knock your self out!

But for the love of all that is holy take some profits!

It pains me to see degens that could have bought a nice property (or two!) let their profits evaporate.

Bitcoin ETFs are convenient and great for speculation BUT they are Wall Street wrappers.

You always return to your lovely Bitcoin wife.

Keep the real deal out of harm’s way.

Publish0x Troll: Aren’t you going to shill your crappy Youtube channel?

Panda: No, this article was too important!

Publish0x Troll: What’s the big deal?!?

Panda: As the crypto bull gets going again I want my frens to be prepared for a big bust!

Troll’s Granny: Did someone want a big bust?

Panda & PUBLISH0X Troll: AAAGH!!!

Obviously none of this is formal financial or tax advice. You need to find qualified professionals in your jurisdiction.

Be sharp, stay hungry let’s get that money!

Regulation and Society adoption


Press Crypto

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